15 Way to Take Your Medicine

We cannot take our cat to the vet without a huge ruckus. People who are stopped at the red lights next to us crane their necks, positive that we are some how abusing children in the back seat. Our cat can be heard over the boom-ba-boom sounds of the loudest music, and he is never in tune or sync which makes the pain all the more unbearable.

Anyone that has had to give a cat a pill or drops or any kind of medicine has had all kinds of trouble making the creature understand that Medicine is Good, being sick is Bad, and Medicine will cure the Sick Kitty. Cats just don't get it. If you really want to know what works, watch this video. However, it is NOT as easy as the video makes it look.

Having to undergo this torture recently reminded me of this piece I have kept since 1997. I have searched high and low and cannot find anyone who claims to have written it. (Anon is a very famous, and prolific writer. I have found numerous websites with variations of it, but all have different names as authors. If you know who actually did write this piece, please let me know and I'll give credit where it is due.)

This also reminds me of how the last kings of Judah were so willfully disobedient regardless of the blessings promised if they would just obey God; and when they had the right heart attitude, God opened the windows of Heaven soaking them in blessings. Israel broke with God first, going the way of the surrounding nations in adulterous relationships with demon gods.

Jeremiah warned Judah time and again they were marching down the road to destruction, yet they stiffened their necks and charged all the more determined towards their medicine. When someone defies authority, takes violent exception to their medicine, and willfully abandons all decorum while their precious, beloved owner tries to give them something that will make them better, stronger, and healthier… This is what happens:

How to give a cat a pill…
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and rear paws firmly. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to stretch out flat on top of cat with head just visible from below arm-pit. Put pill in end of drinking straw. Force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Stop by the furniture store on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to find a new home for cat and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

Author Unknown

Who disobeyed God’s instructions?Jeremiah 35 points out Judah ignored God's instructions, but the Rechabites had obeyed their forefathers instructions to drink no wine and to always live in tents forever as they had been commanded. Simply put, God (through Jeremiah) pointed out that Judah had no care for YHWH, but mere men could follow man's instructions for several centuries just because they chose to. It is most likely true that Rechab observed the pollutant effect the Canaanites had on Israel, and had commanded all his descendants to beware and to keep their heads, never building houses or settling in one place so they would not be perverted by foreign gods.

Literally God got egg on His face, put there by His chosen people because of their disobedience. He had promised the Messiah, therefore He restrained Himself from destroying the people. God then led them captives of Babylon, telling them to build houses there, to marry and to give their daughters and sons in marriage for they would be there seventy years. They lost their beloved Beulah Land that God had given them because of disobedience.

Because we are one with God through the Holy Spirit’s indwelling we should want to bring God glory, and never to embarrass Him. We should want to be malleable, moldable, and teachable so He may use us for His good purposes. That is a blessing God imparts to us. So, I'll take my medicine when I disobey, but I'll be praying God will guard my mind, stop my tongue, and control my body so that I'll have plenty of time to change my mind before I sin. He won't be calling the SPCA to find a new home for me!

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