Confessions Of A Diet Addict

As a young teen I was thin and blissfully unaware of my weight. Far from confident mind you, but the imperfection of my size was still left undiscovered.

Just shy of my 20’s a trusted someone told me that I better keep an eye on my thighs. And so I did. I found them staring painfully back at me in the mirror. Screaming: “You’re fat!” And, I believed it. 
 
From there I compare myself. A desperate search goes out for any sign that I am acceptable “as is.” A girl without God looks to magazines, TV, billboards, anywhere to find her visual value and I came up short every time.
 
And that’s how I became her: The Diet Addict
 
You name it I’ve probably tried it. There are more, but here's a good list:
 
  • Metabolife
  • The dreaded Cabbage Soup diet
  • The Hollywood diet
  • 3-day diet
  • 10-day diet
  • Atkins
  • Hoodia
  • Alli
  • Weight Watchers
  • Prescription drugs: Pondimin/Fastin/Phentermine (my favorites!)
And they were all at my fingertips and all worked well… for awhile.
 
I’m the one who is 20-25 pounds overweight, diets for six weeks, loses it, then turns around and gains it right back. It’s a vicious cycle of insanity. I have three sizes of clothing in my closet. The only thing that changes is the diet. Never me.
 
I love food too much to not eat it or to throw it back up. Thus, I am pitifully crowned THE Yo-Yo Diet Queen.
 
And, it so makes me weary. Seriously, I don’t want to do it anymore. Just last year, I felt God sweetly whisper into my heart a single question: “Why do you do this?” along with a follow-up comment: “Because it’s not for Me.” The words of Isaiah 43:18-19 invade my mind…
 
“Forget the former things;  do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” 
 
And, just as Jesus does, I notice something new stirring inside of me. A deep desire supernaturally develops to abandon the 20-year eating and dieting habits that imprison me. 
 
I must unlearn what I have learned and allow God to guide me down a healthier path. As a result my reasons for losing weight have changed:
  • A healthy me is more effective for the work of the Kingdom.
  • A healthy me is a good example to her children.
  • A healthy me is happier in the area of intimacy with her husband.
  • And, a healthy me brings glory to His name for rescuing me once again from myself.
Praise Jesus because for the first time I am using Scripture instead prescriptions to curb my hunger. I’m running to Him for my comfort and leaving the food in the fridge. 
 
Getting healthy doesn’t come without a plan, so along with a lot of you I am reading Made to Crave and another book called Thin Within. I follow Weight Watchers because it’s not about a diet, it’s about making good choices and portion control and I need help with that.
 
So, as an adult– just shy of 40–I’m learning to listen to my stomach when it’s hungry… not my heart and especially not my head because they deceive me so. I'm seeing myself through the eyes of my Creator, not in front of a mirror, but in His word and in His presence. I am satisfied like never before and it feels really good.

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