I'm sure you've heard it before that men need to be respected much the same way women need to feel loved. Not that women don't need respect and men don't want to be loved…we both need both. If you haven't read “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs , it is a great read on the subject! But today, my focus is on taking that truth found in scripture and actually applying it to our marriages.
“Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” Ephesians 5:33
We are called to not just be “hearers” of the Word but “doers” (James 1:22). Our lives should be different after God instructs us in an area. If we don't take what we've learned and apply it in some way, then we are deceiving ourselves and our marriage and our life won't be all that it could be.
So, here's my Happy Marriage Challenge for you this week:
Spend some time praying for your husband and thinking about his desire to be respected. Ask God to show you the qualities He's placed in your husband and that He wants you to notice. For some of you, it will be easy to come up with a long list. For others, it may be more of a challenge. Either way, don't give up until you have 10 things!
Next, take those 10 things and use them to write a “Respect Letter” to your husband. Tell him you want him to know that you respect him and these are some specific things you want to be sure he knows you are noticing in him. Let him know you are praying for him and that you are thankful for him. Some of my list to my hubbie includes:
- He is trustworthy…if he says he will do it, he will go out of his way to complete a task
- He is not easily angered. He will think through a situation and not make a rash judgement
- He's a great sport. Not only was he captain of Football, Baseball, and Basketball in High School but in general, he takes a team approach and handles life well…win or lose.
- He's very thoughtful of others
You get the idea. Take the time to really think about what your husband is all about. What is important to him. And then let him know that you notice him and your respect him…in writing!
Then the fun part! SPECIAL DELIVERY… How will you deliver this message to you hubbie?
Here are some ideas to get you going:
- Tape it to his remote…Ha!
- Give it to him on your next date night
- Attach it to your pet's collar and then tell him to offer Max a treat
- Put it in his sock drawer
- Serve his favorite dinner and hide it under his plate… This one would be great if you want the whole family in on it! The kiddos could get excited about it and write out their “10 Things” they respect about their Daddy too…
- and last but not least…Tell him you are wearing it and he has to find it. That might get the biggest response.
I haven't delivered mine yet so send me your ideas too! Leave a comment below with your ideas and/or his response. Can't wait to hear how it goes!
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Great Idea! Only one problem… My wife tried the whole “hide it in his sock drawer” thing and I didn’t find the note for a month!! I am only kidding; really!!