The thought of not being in control really scares me.
At the beginning of this year, I shared that God was dealing with me about this issue of control. I was doing better with the trust thing – while everything in my life remained steady and calm. But then life started to change and get a little crazy. I realized today that I'm still trying so hard to be in control of my life. And since it's impossible for me to be in control, I've been living in a state of worry and stress.
I feel like Martha sometimes. I want to just sit with Jesus, but there's so much to do. And I would be irresponsible if I didn't take care of those things, right? But I hear Jesus' words to Martha and I know He is speaking them to me.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” —Luke 10:41-42
Martha was concerned with feeding Jesus, but Jesus was more concerned with feeding Martha. The things I am concerned about may be needful things, but nothing is needed more than being with Jesus.
I've got to let go of my sense of control and just trust God. Whether I stand or I fall, I want it to be all for God's glory. I want to live and move like I believe that my life is in HIS hands. I want to completely trust God. I want to focus on the One Thing and trust God to take care of the rest.
I'm learning to lean on Jesus.