“I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.” (NIV) Psalm 13:6.
Thursday night, I had the privilege of seeing Chris Tomlin in concert. It was an awesome event that I wish everyone could experience. It's not about Chris or the music, but more than that, it was the lyrics and the feelings that were awakened deep down in my being that made this such an amazing evening.
Twenty -five years ago, I can remember being in church and wanting to sing a Christian song on the radio for church one night. Sadly, I was told it wasn't appropriate. Over the years, many of my friends experienced the same situation, ” No we can't have drums. No we don't need guitars on stage. No, we can't dance. We shouldn't do this. We shouldn't do that.” UGH! It was enough to make a growing young Christian go, ” What can I do?! I am so happy! I want to sing! I want to dance! I want to clap my hands. Yes, I want to play the drums!!!!”
So as many of you know, Chris Tomlin and many of my generation went off to college. Chris went off to Baylor and met up with Louie Giglio. The Passion Movement and Generation 268 were created based upon the verse Isaiah 26:8 (NIV), “Yes, LORD, walking in the way of your laws,we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts.” Eventually the way the church praised and worshiped on Sundays changed to include all we were trying to do twenty-five years ago. If God desires it, He will see it through.
A little over a year ago, I was in a similar low point in my Christian walk as it was 20-plus years ago after being told, “No,” so many times. I had suffered my first miscarriage in August 2009, and was trying to figure out what God was doing and what He wanted from me. The Lord brought a new ministry into my town called 33 The Ministry. A man by the name of Robert Adams believes God wants him to bring Christian concerts to our area to help show the love of Christ. Eventually he hopes to build a Teen Outreach Center in town as well. Last October, 33 The Ministry brought in Leeland, Brandon Heath and Francesca Battistelli. I couldn't believe it. Here? They were coming here? I went. I stood with 1400 other people that night and enjoyed that concert. In fact, for the first 30 minutes I stood there and cried. God felt so real in this place. People had hands raised. Nobody cared what anyone else thought. It was as though each person was there just praising and worshiping God personally, one on one, as the music played. It was wonderful. Such freedom!
The following I week, I called Robert Adams and eventually became part of the 33 The Ministry team helping to bring more Christian concerts to the area. I also began thinking I needed to find the right place for me. I wanted just the right church where I could be me freely without condemnation. It took a little over 6 months, but God did lead us to a new church and my needs are now being met, but it's not just the church. In fact, it's not the church at all. It's all about God and my relationship with Him. Yes, God has strategically placed new people in my life to help me grow and understand Him better, but the majority of my life change is working one on one between me and God and me and God alone. It's a God thing. It's a heart thing. If you are not right with God, nothing goes right.
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (NIV) Matthew 6:33
Over these past few weeks, God has let me know, “Amy, you've got so much to learn. Walk with me.” So here I am, taking one day at a time, walking hand in hand with God as he teaches me to spend more time with Him each day in His Word and through prayer. Prayer is the hardest one of all. I find it hard to pray, to believe He is there listening. Is it really true anything I ask in His name, He will give? I wonder and wait like an excited child on Christmas Eve.
Last night was just the icing on the cake. God is teaching me to come to Him more, to depend on Him more. Many changes are occurring in my life. Last year, I not only suffered one miscarriage, but two, another one in February 2010. It was heart breaking, and I almost gave up on God completely. Was He there? I quit singing. I quit praying. I just quit. What was the point?
However, God is faithful. “God, who has called you into fellowship with his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, is faithful.”(NIV) 1 Corinthians 1:9. He brought me through that dark time. He knows me. He loves me. He supplies all my needs. ” And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”(NIV) Philippians 4:19.
He has done all of that, and now as I learn to draw closer and closer to Him through my walk, through reading the Word and through learning to pray, the music returns. The desire to lift up my voice and worship the One who loves us returns to my heart over and over again. I am free. I am finally free to sing, to dance and to rejoice. It's a wonderful place to be.
Remember it's not about Chris Tomlin or Amy Wingfield or anyone else. It's all about Our God. Have a great day!
Our God by Chris Tomlin