So many of you out there are like myself. You love being Momma.
But I love the whole experience! Time with my husband. Conceiving. First heartbeats. First kicks. The flood of joy when the baby is delivered! And holding that new baby. Watching them grow, change, learn and live! It's the best job in the world!
When I first started my personal blog, now called Faith Journey, it was named Called To Be Momma. Even on those days that seem so long, I realize how blessed I was to have four beautiful healthy children. Thank you Lord for the blessing of my children.
Last summer, I learned a hard lesson. When it comes to my health and monthly cycles, I'm usually consistent. Every 28 days, that visitor knocks on my door.
Back in the Spring of 2009, this family had some big changes. We moved into our new home, and at the same time there were some extended family issues that combined with all that was going on with the move and settling in, made life extremely stressful for me.
I should have given it all to God, laid it all at His feet and walked away. I didn't do that. I let it get to me……and my health suffered. In May, my cycle was only 26 days. In June, 25 days.
I wanted more children. I wasn't ready for this peri-menopause, pre-menopause. I'm not ready to shut that door.
So, I did what probably most of you do too, I began looking for answers and way to fix things. I made an appointment with my OB/GYN, but I couldn't get in for almost two months. This was June and I couldn't get in to see my doctor until July 24. I struggle with patience. No! I want it fixed now!
So I turned to ever faithful Internet and forums and groups for answers. I bought vitamins and started taking:
- Prenatal Vitamins
- Folic Acid
What joy I experienced July 10, 2009 when my pregnancy test read postive! Yea!! Thank you God! No. 5! Oh my goodness!!! I was elated! It worked! I was healed! I was pregnant and all was well!
I continued to take the vitamins but no longer used the Vitex or progesterone cream. I didn't need it anymore. I was pregnant.
On Saturday night, August 8, 2009, I began spotting. I had never experienced this before, but I knew what it was. I was 8 weeks pregnant. Maybe I had just over done it that day. Maybe if I slow down and rest…
The sonogram showed a sac at 5 weeks, not 8 weeks, no heartbeat. Monday night, God allowed everything to happen naturally. Tuesday, as I began sharing with friends on my groups and forums, some of you knew what I did not…
If you use progesterone to help regulate your cycles and you become pregnant, you must CONTINUE using progesterone until week 14 of your pregnancy. At that point, the body should begin making the progesterone on its own. I DIDN'T KNOW! I DIDN'T KNOW! This was my fault.
The grief, at first was overwhelming. If I had just waited for God or maybe the doctor and God working together. I should have never taken the Vitex or used the cream. I had no business trying to do this on my own!
Some of the facts I've learned:
If you are using progesterone creams or supplements and abruptly stop, your body receives a signal that it's time for a monthly cycle, pregnant or not, your body registers that progesterone production has stopped, and it's time for a cycle.
This is also what happens with birth control pills. Days 1-20 of birth control pills contain a level of progesterone, but days 21-28, when you take the placebo or no pill at all, the body is signaled that it's time for a cycle. YOU CAN GET PREGNANT ON THE BIRTH CONTROL PILL!
Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar talk about this in their book, ” Twenty and Counting.” After they had Joshua, they decided to wait awhile before having more children. She conceived while taking the pill and had a miscarriage. they too, were informed the truth about the effects of progesterone. You can get pregnant on the pill, but even if you get pregnant, as soon as those progesterone levels drop below a certain level, you are going to have a cycle, pregnant or not.
They grieved!! I grieved!! Lord, we are so sorry. We should have left it all in your hands.
I went through a dark time. Why God why? What do you want from me? There's been quite a few changes for me over the last 4 months. I spent a lot of time walking and asking God what he wanted. I didn't have anybody else to talk to. Nobody understood why a mother of 4 wanted more children, but God does. This mother of 4, me, I am and always will be Called To Be Momma. That's me, Momma, and I love my job. I'm proud of it. I embrace it. I can't think of anything else I'd rather do. One way or another, I'm always going to be Momma, taking care of others.
OK, so in the last 6 months, I changed doctors, God has brought a wonderful new doctor into my life who has helped me sort through things. She listened. She ran all the tests and she did finally diagnosed the problem, extremely low progesterone. Maybe it's God telling me no more, or maybe it's just something that needs to be corrected. I don't know, we wait and see. I'm on Clomid Treatments right now and that might help. I'd like to have more children, if it is God's will.
I started 25mg of Clomid in May, Progesterone rose from 11 in April to 12 in May, still not enough. I'm currently on 100mg of Clomid and this past month, my progesterone levels were a normal 18. There is hope. Clomid treatments work like this. Each month, you are given 5 tablets to take days 5-10 of your cycle.
I've learned this over the years through all the trials.