Some One-Liner Funnies

Did you know that the Roman authorities are investigating Jesus for violating the Stay-in the Tomb order?

Start where you are and you will go where you went.

 You do not need Google. Your spouse knows everything.

A true friend always thinks you are a good egg, even though you are slightly cracked.

Life is short, better enjoy it? Eternity is long, better get ready for it.

You should never press a four-leaf clover, because it is dangerous to press your luck!

Why can’t everything be as easy as getting fat?

Some things are better left unsaid. We don’t realize this till after we way them.

Rule your mind or it will rule you! 

Do you know you are doing better than you think you are?

Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.

(Romans 8:5-6, NIV)