That’s where I am right now, as the date of my dear husband’s death approaches once again. I hesitate to call it anger but God is calling me out on it. I am frustrated, sad and yes I even feel helpless, for I am helpless to change the state I am in. I am worn out trying to keep up with my life.
I try to hold it in but all that does is make me worse. Then I do the usual stupid. I punish myself by eating too much, sleeping too much and by avoiding my life as much as possible.
I can’t share with most people because they don’t get it. So lucky you…I am sharing with you, my readers, my poor undefended listeners.
Eventually though, common sense takes hold. These verses say it all.
Be good to your servant, God; be as good as your Word. Train me in good common sense; I’m thoroughly committed to living your way. Before I learned to answer you, I wandered all over the place, but now I’m in step with your Word. You are good, and the source of good; train me in your goodness. The godless spread lies about me, but I focus my attention on what you are saying; they’re bland as a bucket of lard, while I dance to the tune of your revelation. My troubles turned out all for the best— they forced me to learn from your textbook. Truth from your mouth means more to me than striking it rich in a gold mine. (Psalm 119:65-72, MSG)
Prayer- Dear God, somehow I lost my way Lord. Thanks for hauling me back to your truths. Amen.