Last week, my older daughter exclaimed, “Well you don’t have a job!” This comment followed her request of when she could get a tattoo, to which I replied, “When you are out of college and have your own job.” Let’s just say she got an explanation of what my “job” is and took a few steps back in her rush to grow up.
But her comment got me thinking. When I left my corporate job to stay at home, it took me a long time to wrap my head around what my worth to the universe was now that I didn’t bring home a paycheck. This is a transition a lot of stay-at-home Moms make. You go from making deals to making meals with your schedule dictated by who-needs-to-go-where and the basics of what keeps your house running functionally. (Or at least well enough that your husband doesn’t ask when you can start working again to re-hire the housekeeper.)
I have no intention of entering the discussion on whether women should work or should be at home. That is a decision every family must decide on their own, based on what God wants for their lives. My intention here is to bring to the table what has been bothering me: where do I get my worth?
On the days I’m less busy, there’s a little devil on my shoulder whispering, “You are not contributing! You have nothing to show for your effort!” The fewer the items I’ve checked off my list, the worse grade I give myself. It is this mindset that trips me up because I am looking to someone or something else to validate how much I matter. Maybe for you that’s a paycheck, a relationship or, like me, a to-do list.
Genesis 31:19 contains an interesting word to describe this phenomenon – teraphim. It means “little gods” and they caused the whole ruckus between Jacob and Laban. It wasn’t really his daughters Laban was after – it was these little statues that mattered most to him. We no longer make figures like this per say, but our lives reflect how we define our worth. A new car, a bigger paycheck, a better wardrobe, or even well-behaved children – anything that defines our value other than our standing with Christ we can safely call a teraphim.
I’ve figured something out about these little gods. They wear me out. I must continually perform. Neither they nor I are ever truly satisfied. I must continually do for them and for me. But that is not the way with Jesus. He said it over and over again – to Martha, to His Disciples, to any and everyone. He nails it on the head in Matthew 11:28. In His presence we don’t have to perform to be loved; we just have to be there.
Good, bad or ugly – we are already known to Him, so there is nothing to achieve. He has done it all for us so we can relax. It is life changing to find a relationship we get more out of than we put in. It does take practice, but you gain peace, joy and strength in the process. Try starting your day with a drink of Living Water. It will restore and refresh your soul, so you will no longer need those little gods and be able to bless others in abundance!
Be First to Comment