Funny Bible Verses

Now remember please that any verse taken out of context founds funny. Anyway, try these on for size and laugh lightly!

The driving is like Jehu son of Nimshi. He drives like a maniac.” (2 Kings 9:20)

Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man and put his arms around him. “Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “He’s alive!”  (Acts 20:9-10)

Now Joshua was old and advanced in years when the Lord said to him, “You are old and advanced in years (Joshua 13:1)

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion. (Proverbs 11:22) 

A quarrelsome wife is like the dripping of a leaky roof in a rainstorm.  (Proverbs 27:15)

And finally…

Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese? (Job 10:10)