More Funnies!

He replied to me, “Look, I will let you use cow dung instead of human excrement, and you can make your bread over that.” (Ezekiel 4:15)

But the commander replied, “Was it only to your master and you that my master sent me to say these things, and not to the people sitting on the wall—who, like you, will have to eat their own excrement and drink their own urine?” (Isaiah 36:12)

Then said they, what shall be the expiation of guilt which we shall pay unto him? They answered, five golden hemorrhoids and five golden rats, according to the number of the cardinals of the Philistines, for the same plague that is on you is also on your cardinals. (1 Samuel 6:4)

I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!” (Exodus 32:24)

And finally, how not to win a girlfriend!!

Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. (Song of Songs 4:2)

Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon looking toward Damascus. (Song of Songs 7:4)

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