I’m a committed Christian. Committed. I don’t do things in life unless I feel they are “God-blessed” or “God-okayed.” I just don’t. That’s why I was really astonished at myself in the not-too-distant past.
Without going into details, let’s just say that I almost did the wrong thing. And I knew it at the time. I knew that the direction I was pushing in was not the right one. Or at least the timing wasn’t right. I knew it. I could feel it. God was convicting me about it. And because of my own personal feelings on the matter – I forged on anyway. And that scares me.
It scares me that I knew I wasn’t obeying God’s prompts – I knew I was ignoring His voice – and yet I kept going in MY direction anyways. I was so close to doing the wrong thing. My heart is so saddened. So ashamed. I LOVE my Lord! I adore Him! He is everything to me. And yet I didn’t want to hear what He had to say because I wanted my way. And I knew it at the time.
What I’m thankful for; is that I did end up listening. I did end up giving up my will for God’s. But not without tears. Not without sadness. The thing is, that as soon as I did that? My heart no longer felt in turmoil. It became at peace. Even though I was going to accept an answer that I wasn’t wanting. I want to clarify that when I say, “I almost did the wrong thing” – I’m not referring to most things that would come to your mind. For me, it was about obedience and my personal pride that wanted to interfere with that obedience. It was about my wishes regarding something when I was just needing to trust God and wait instead; on Him. It is so easy.
No matter how much we love God – it is so easy to put our own wants in front of what God would have for us. And in doing so, we mess with His blessings. I don’t ever want to live outside of God’s favor. Or His voice. I don’t want to do things that block my ability to hear Him when He speaks.
It takes courage to lay things down before God when they are really important to us. But that courage will pay off for our hearts will be right with Him and they will be right with ourselves. Listen TO Him. Listen FOR Him. Even if His voice is saying what you don’t want to hear. That feeling inside of getting right with God – is worth it all.