When Someone Can’t Control You Anymore

Sometimes in life, there are relationships that we hold very dear to us – especially family relationships. They seem to go along smoothly and we can’t ever imagine things being different. Changing. But they do. You grow up. You change your opinions. You evolve into your own person. And things start to shift.

It’s subtle at first, but the more you find your own voice and purpose, oftentimes, the more you notice the shifting ground. Things aren’t as comfortable anymore. Differences of opinion happen more often. Feelings are hurt. And you begin to see the past in a whole new light.

You see, what we thought was a perfect little world was actually a controlled one. We felt looked out for and loved. But we also didn’t really explore things on our own. We were fine going with someone else’s ideas, opinion, and agenda. It was only when that changed, that everything changed.

When someone (or someones) can’t control you anymore – a relationship changes drastically. We may not even realize we were under someone’s control at one point, until we taste our own freedom. Until we touch our own dreams. It is only then, that we see. That we feel what is truly “us.” In the process, someone else feels abandoned. Neglected. They don’t know how to adjust to the new “you.” They don’t know how to relate to someone that doesn’t agree with them on everything.

It is in these moments in life, that we realize there may just be a cost to us being who God called us to be. And it stinks. God never said following Him would be easy. And so often, a lot of us think following Him might mean travelling to far-away destinations or undertaking great challenges in life. When sometimes, it simply means standing up for who we are and embracing the freedom in being who He uniquely called us to be. That’s a hard enough call for some of us.

For family relationships can pull, tug, and push with great force and strength. They can cause endless stress and deep pain. Who knew, that trying to be free and morally the kind of person God calls us to be…well, that that would make you feel like such a “black sheep” at times? A rebel?

But God calls us to follow HIM. Not our loved ones. Even though we love them deeply. He calls us to follow HIM. And sometimes that means great sacrifice. Anyone who tries to control someone else is not loving as God would love. And even though it shadows over into our lives, it really is their internal problem. You can’t change them any more than they can change you back into the person they once felt was moldable in their hands. You can always love. Always pray. Always hold yourself accountable for how you speak and act. But in the end, you need to allow yourself the freedom to break away. Not irrevocably, but just internally. You deserve to be YOU. You deserve the chance to act as you. Choose as you. And dream as you. Don’t ever let someone else’s hands (no matter how loving they may seem) hold you back. For it is not in your best interest…but theirs. Fly. Be free. Soar. This is YOUR life.

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