Why am I almost 30 and still not married?

I am not married. I am a Christian. Somewhere along this walk of mine, I’ve found myself being scrutinized for being a member for the body of Christ, yet not being married. Well . . . if I’m honest, then I will tell the whole truth. I am unmarried and living with my boyfriend. Can we have a moment of silence for the death of this sin?

I move out at the end of the month.

Thank you.

I have always had a problem reconciling marriage to my life path. For years, I believed that marriage was not for me. As of 2005, 36% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. And, witnessing the both the marriage and divorces of family members and friends, I decided that marriage was not to be my lot in life. Instead, I stamped myself the “monogamous, serial dater.” But, because I am Christian and set about by God, He has another plan for me.

I had to first understand that my will and God’s will are not always the same. I would have preferred that I never marry. I imagined myself as the righteous woman, pursuing the kingdom over the ways of the world. In Matthew 19:11-13, Jesus says “Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven.”

For years, I resolved to simply forgo marriage as a duty to the kingdom. There were two problems with this plan however: one, I was not serving the kingdom, and two, I was forgoing marriage, not out of a call by God, but extreme fear. Many of us know the scripture, Romans 8:15, which speaks of being a slave to fear. But, how many of us continually operate in fear? How many of us become so paralyzed by fear that we adopt it as part of God’s plan and walk according to our fear instead of our faith? I have to admit that I have done so in the issue of marriage for my life.

Instead of choosing disobedience to deal with my fear, I pray. Pray for wisdom and strength to do the right thing and faith to trust in what God has for me. And I seek His kingdom first, because I know that He promised that when you seek him with all your heart and soul, surely you will find Him (Deuteronomy 4:29). In what area of your life can you stand to seek Him more? I invite you to search your heart and ask God for the courage to face your fear and seek his kingdom.

And once you are done with that, I could use some help moving!

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